Snippets

Frustrated and Unmotivated

Not everything is always happy, exciting, or fun whilst trying to start an MFA. Though I'm over the biggest hurdle (getting accepted) there are still many things left in the process. Honestly I feel like I am at the worst point right now but I am trying my best to keep things in perspective and just going with the flow.

It seems that for the past five months I've done nothing but write various versions of personal statement, proposed thesis, motivations for study. These essays at some point, just start to sound the same and they get all jumbled in my head. Partly because I am frustrated to write yet another essay on the same topic and not be able to start working on these projects. I just want to start. It also doesn't help that I left my camera at my parents home this past year. I didn't want to risk losing or harming the equipment while I lived in Querétaro. I thought that my current job would motivate and keep me busy enough to not miss it. The reality is that I miss my hands on the camera. On the plus side, I now have my external hard drive full of photos that I have not uploaded or worked on. Hopefully after all this is over I'll have some time before July to work on them.

Why so many essays? Well I have been applying for extra funding. I have applied to the Jumex scholarship and am in the process of applying to FONCA-CONACYT (Fondo Nacional para la Cultura y las Artes) AND SEP (Secretaría de Educación Pública), both from the Mexican government. I actually don't know if I should apply to FONCA this year. I feel a little unprepared. Well, no not uprepared, I just feel like my submission will be stronger next year in terms of what they ask for. Then again, I should just try this year, I can always re-apply. No harm, no foul.

There's still so much left in the process on the road to an MFA. I still have to get my J1 Visa, find housing, furnish said housing option, move to DC, find airfare and tickets to DC, quit my current job, move out, and pack. On the Fulbright end of the spectrum there's still the Orientación de Despedida at COMEXUS and the Fulbright Gateway Program. Those are two things I am very excited for! Anyway, all of this before July 11th/a month and a half-ish. Can you see why I am freaking out?